The Crazee Chick's View of Life

When I was a little kid, this sign always made me laugh because it looked like a car with duck feet. I'd never seen a car with duck feet so I couldn't understand why there was a warning sign posted along the roadways to alert us to be cautious of it. One day I finally asked my mom about it and when she recovered her composure after rolling on the floor laughing for 10 minutes, she told me that it meant Slippery When Wet. Oh yeah, 'cuz that's so obvious! It's clearly a car with duck feet! Makes much more sense to me!! Signs are so ambiguous that many of them require explanations, so here are some clarifications for your enlightenment: If you have set yourself on fire, do not run. If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.  If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder. If you are ...

Under the heading: FACEBOOK IS NOT GOOGLE, here comes one sure to make you giggle. Love the last entry! (totally ripped this off of dailydawdle.com. Thanks guys!!)

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.' Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory,

Kiki has a school project due next week and she has decided she wants to create a huge scrapbook page-type of poster board display.  Being that I am the least talented drawer in the world, I asked my artistic and amazing friend, Candise, to come and sketch out the display for us.  Being the sweet soul that she is, she agreed and even said that she'd come to my house instead of me having to lug all the stuff to her house. Bless her heart. Last night I while I was waiting for her to come I decided to run down stairs and sort some laundry AND discuss some important dance details with my friend on the phone.   Before we go any further with this, you need to know that I am completely deaf in one ear...and rapidly losing hearing in the other, so when I have a phone to my ear, I hear NOTHING but the person I am talking to.  So, when I went downstairs, I left my son sitting at the kitchen table playing, well within earshot of any door knocking or bell ringing that...

Statements Made in Court These really happened... Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year. Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten? Q: How old is your son, the one living with you. A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years. Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan. Q: And where was the location of the accident? A: Approximately milepost 499. Q: And where is milepost 499? A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500. Q: Sir, what is your IQ? A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think. Q: Did you blow your horn or anything? A: After the accident? Q: Befo...