The Crazee Chick's View of Life

The other night I introduced my kids to a whole bunch of my memories. No, I didn't use a pensieve like Harry Potter did (although how cool would it be to have one of those?!). No, my memories are hidden in many forms and one of them is in my stuffed animals. After introducing some of my most special ones to the kids, the last one to come out of the bag and get photographed was Animal from The Muppets.  With his big teeth, moveable eyebrows and floppy body, he was the source of much entertainment and laughter.  Our neighbors must have wondered if we had our senses about us as we were literally rolling on the ground laughing at some points. I kept the camera flashing and this is some of the craziness that ensued... This is how it began.  Zee posed Animal.... Then I showed the kids how my mom used to pose him on my bed... And then, in an unexpected move, Animal jumped on Zee's shoulder... ...and the gauntlet was thrown down.  They're both...

There are lessons to be learned at every turn in life.  Just today, as a case in point, I frustratedly picked up another bag off the floor (filled with stinky runners) and paused just for a moment to look at it.  It was a lululemon bag and had many words of wisdom contained upon it:  As I read it, I felt both inspired and sarcastic (two verrrry different emotions): Do one thing a day that scares you.   Okay. I just cleaned my son's toilet.  Done! Children are the orgasm of life.  Umm...someone's been doing it wrong, THAT comes during the 'creative process' Listen. Listen.  Listen.  And then ask strategic questions.  Aw, crap, I listened so long that I forgot my question! Do it now!  Do it now!  Do it now!  But you just told me to listen, listen, listen and then act!  Visualize your eventual demise. It can have an amazing effect on how you live for the moment.  I believe this contracts the 'choose a ...

What an incredible weekend! First we started out with a visit to the Richmond Night Market where we tried all kinds of wonderful Asian food...from spicy squid to onion cakes to steamed pork buns. Zee, our boy who survives only on peanut butter sandwiches, decided to broaden his horizons and ate squid! I just about fell off my chair! He tried gyoza too but stopped after one nibble when he discovered it had shrimp in it. Go figure. "Um, no thanks!" Oh, yummy, yummy...potatoes on a stick.  The red ones have ketchup on them and the white ones have cheddar.  Sinful! Deep Fried STINKY tofu?! NO thanks! Looooong line ups! Finished eating, now it's time to shop! The next night we took the kids to Canada's Fireworks display at the Celebration of Light in the beautiful and scenic English Bay. Although China was the winner of the competition, Canada put forth a great effort and their presentation to John Lennon's Imagine ...

Last week I took Zee and his friend to White Rock to run some errands with me and I promised them that if they were patient while I was trying on some suits for the triathlon and picking up my race package, that I would take them out for Andy's ice cream. Zee's friend was more than happy to oblige as he said that Andy's is the 'best ice cream in the world.' "I thought Marble Slab Creamery was the best ice cream in the world," my kids retorted. "Nope," said Friend. "ANDY'S is the best!" "Mmmm...can't wait," I heard my kids say as they wiped drool off their faces. Fast forward to two hours later....I've got my new one piece outfit for the triathlon (you can swim, bike, AND run in it); some energy candies; a race belt; and we've gone to Fieldstone Bakery in Crescent Beach to get raspberry/white chocolate scones, and two pieces of chocolate cake (needed these items for our anniversary)...and now it's t...

According to Wikipedia, these are the three funniest jokes ever... Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?" Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely...

It's July 22 and I am sitting at home in a hoodie, long pants and socks. I am also wrapped up in a fleece blanket. Oh, and did I mention that I just switched the furnace from A/C to HEAT?! What the heck? Where did our summer go? Actually, more realistically is not where it went because that would imply that we had a semblance of summer when in actuality we have not, so I think it would be more accurate to ask, "Summer, when are you coming?" C'mon, Summer, we only have 6 weeks until the kids go back to school and all our plans of hiking various parks, climbing the Grouse Grind and the Chief, and spending a lazy summer day at Whytecliffs park are going to be shot! I'll say this in my nastiest, exorcist-like, growly voice while I stamp my feet, " I want some summer NOW!!" *POUTS and spins head around* I said...NOW!!! In case you need a reminder, this is what you look like, Summer...  Not this: Get your act together, Summer, or else yo...

I'm such a sucker. Recently as I was wondering through the booths at a home show, this elderly Asian man beckoned to me to come hither.  Despite his rotting teeth, hunchback, and his Yoda-like appearance I  found myself drawn into his curious booth set up with reflexology and accupressure charts as well as bottles of little yellow seeds and a fancy schmancy camera (such a dichotomy). He said for 20 bucks he could cure my pain: I thought for 20 bucks I could buy him a toothbrush, a haircut, and arrange for a chiropractic adjustment... As I tried to shake him off and move on over to the pretty knives that cut fruit into amazing shapes, he blocked my path and told me that he would treat me now and I could pay later, and when he learned of my partial deafness he literally rubbed his long and bony fingers together in a move reminiscent of Austin Powers and begged me for the opportunity to restore my hearing. Good grief, what was I to do? I sat down in the chair... ... ...