Route change on the road of LIFE...

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All summer as I tried to plan our 3rd homeschool year I just kept coming up against roadblock after roadblock. Nothing was coming together despite hours and hours of planning. As September loomed closer and closer I began to panic.

Rewind to June 2008 as I entered the local elementary school for my son's kindergarten orientation. As a homeschooling mom, I was dead set against my son going to public school but wanted to honor my husband's wishes (it was just going to be for kindergarten; we were going to keep him home afterwards) so I went to the orientation. What I saw there took me by surprise; I saw an amazing jazz band; wonderful art work on the walls; happy children; a wonderful atmosphere and a really outstanding staff of teachers and a very caring principal. I did not intend to see anything positive so it's not as if I were conscientiously looking for something that would change my mind. But change my mind it did....

Fast forward to August: as I relaxed one evening considering our upcoming school year, I wondered why I wasn't getting an answer to my prayer about whether or not to homeschool. As I pondered I realized that I had received an answer, it just wasn't the one I was anticipating. My homeschool year wasn't coming together because it wasn't in God's plan for me and my family. He answered me in this manner. Imagine my shock when I figured that out! I immediately felt comfort knowing that I had finally figured out the Lord's answer for me. I talked it over with my hubby and we decided that if I were ever to put the kids back into school that this would be the best time. I wouldn't want to do it for gr. 7 and I certainly wouldn't want to put our eldest into a school situation when she had to face being a gr. 8'er. If ever they were to go back, this was the time.

So now I am no longer a homeschooling mom. I will still be teaching my kids but now it'll be because I *want* to and not because I *have* to. I feel a sense of loss as I once again have to re-identify who I am. I'm no longer a homeschooler....that's going to be weird! I don't know what my Heavenly Father has planned for me, I just know that He's never answered my prayer about homeschooling in the affirmative; even in past times when I homeschooled I know I did it against His wishes. So, there's a new direction, a route change, a new turn in my life's journey. I hope I'm ready for it!

Whatever it is I know I'll be able to do it with the Lord's help.

I just hope he gives me time to sew some curtains and clean my house first! :)

Wish me luck!

Comments

Carmen said…
Well congrats to you for listening to the promptings with your whole heart and abiding by the direction given. That is great. The kids will be great in school! And you will find something else to do. Welcome to my world. It was a very hard pill to swallow when I went back to work full time. Yesterday, for the first time, I did not get to go to the first day of school - Bella's first day of school. I was so sad. But such is life. My presence is required at the firm and Marc is beginning yet another degree and so it goes. Think of all the fun things you can experiment with now with your time! It will be good. And you know what - change is good. Redefining yourself is good. Hugs
September 3, 2008 at 6:56 PM
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