I may rise but I refuse to shine!

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My FB status update today read: Good morning, Morning--after being very clear yesterday about how I loathe thee, I'm surprised you had the audacity to show your face around here again. I'm assuming you'll be here again tomorrow? Ugh...

I find mornings, especially waking up, extremely painful. It feels like someone is pulling me through layers and layers of jello until I reach the consciousness 'layer.' After literally being dragged into awareness, it then becomes imperative that I open my eyes to quickly glance at the clock to determine if I have any time left to sleep. Happily, some mornings there is more sleep time alloted but most mornings there is not and then I must begin the painful process of keeping my eyes open.

Oh the pain!!

The light is blinding! My eyes are as dry as the Sahara dessert...and they refuse to stay open....partially because my brain wants to go back to sleep and partially to avoid the intense pain!

Does this happen to us all? Does it happen to you?! My hubby pops out of bed as if he slept in a toaster. The daylight shines in our window and POP! out of bed he flies. What in tarnation is wrong with that man?!

I like to moan and complain about waking up. I'm not very happy to be awake and the first thought on my mind is 'when can I go back to bed?' quickly followed by 'I wonder if anyone's commented on my blog?' (yes, that's a verbal slap to all of my readers who are lurking in the shadows and NEVER COMMENT!!). To answer that question I must look on my blackberry which...you guessed it...requires my eyes to stay open! ARGH--it hurts! See what I put myself through just to read your comments? (that don't exist, I might add)

Maybe I should just stop sleeping altogether because then I wouldn't have to wake up!

Nah, that would never work 'cause I really like my slumber, in fact, it's possible that I am related to the sloth. You doubt me? Let's examine the evidence--hairy body, slow moving, fat and sleepy = sloth. Hairy body, slow moving, fat and sleepy = Lisa.   Proof positive.

I should shave.

Now after all that complaining about waking up at the end of a good night's sleep, don't even get me started about waking up in the MIDDLE of the night to pee! Outrageous! Doesn't my body have the entire day to eliminate it's wastes? Why wake me up for it?

I think I'm just going to start peeing the bed.

Problem Solved.

I'm allllll about progress....


...and a good sleep...

Comments

Anonymous said…
OK, I'll bite - since you don't like lurkers! I love waking up in the morning on a sunny, summer day and definitely drag myself out of bed when it's not. However, the peeing thing in the night - I can't relate to. Never had to, (not even when pregnant with twins!) and still don't. Even after several cups of steaming hot Rooibos tea! Betcha want my bladder, dontcha? Well, off to have my cuppa and go nighty night.

Wendy
July 15, 2010 at 10:05 PM
Karen's Kreations said…
I am SO with you!! I HATE waking up! Doesn't matter what time of day, it is the worst feeling. Doesn't matter if I wake up at dawn or sleep till noon, or nap in the afternoon, the feeling of being dragged out of that wonderful slumber sucks, and the people who "pop up like a toaster" should be shot!!!!!!!!!! See you in the morning, bright and early, when we both have to drag our butts up way too early!!!
July 15, 2010 at 10:52 PM
Anonymous said…
Like your hubby, I awake fully conscious and usually cheerful. I've been told that it's very annoying but I actually like mornings. I also do not get up in the middle of the night to pee. The downside to being a morning person is that I am not a night owl in the slightest and usually find myself propping my eyelids open with a stick by about 10pm... M
July 15, 2010 at 10:55 PM
Lisa said…
Ah ha! Comments! Crazee Chick's ego is soooo happy...but sleepy...and sloth like....and...and...zzzzzzz
(oh, excuse me, did I just drool?)

*blush*
July 15, 2010 at 11:07 PM
Lisa said…
Oh, by the way, M, cheery people in the morning are like poison to us sleepy people. You are the Volturi to my Edward; the kryptonite to my Superman; the lemon in my lemonade; the rock in my lentils; the stub in my toe; the cold in my hot chocolate....
July 15, 2010 at 11:11 PM
Julie K. said…
I was so excited for you after reading your last blog entry...it said you have 5 COMMENTS - but then when I read them, 2 are from YOU! You are too funny!

I get up pretty good in the morning, but I remember when I was single, living on my own, I had my alarm clock clear across the room, and I would get up NUMEROUS times, walk across the room, press the snooze, and then jump back into bed for 9 more minutes of sleep - just to do this all over again, and sometimes again. And I don't very often wake up to pee in the night, but it sure makes me mad when I do, and the alarm is going off in just a few minutes. If I am going to wake up, make it early enough, so that I still have LOTS of sleep time left.

You love seeing if their are comments on your blog, and I love it when people reply to my emails - and answer all of my many questions, and make comments where necessary.
July 15, 2010 at 11:38 PM
Auntie Sheila said…
Ahhh Lisa - I'm with you girl! Just wait until you have to get up twice in the night for the same reason. Your bladder insistently calls out, you try to ignore it, until it is absolutely imperative that you drag your tired body out of bed and shuffle off to the biffy, with eyes still shut. It's a miracle and a piece of luck when you land in the right place, and ah! blessed relief - until 2 hours from now, when you need to repeat the process all over again. Oh groan!!!
July 16, 2010 at 12:27 PM
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