The Crazee Chick's View of Life

Members of Earth. Be informed. The Loot is out there. And it's called...Black Friday. Yes, people of Earth, there are human droids who are driven by a desire so  insatiable that they will shun sleep (31 hours awake!!), they will carry multiple shopping bags causing 'shopping hand' syndrome, and have been sighted laying across shopping carts in a piteous attempt to prevent crashing headlong to the floor. Oh, people of Earth, be warned that these droids are sneaky too.  Beware of the ones who feign innocence; the ones who appear as if they are dedicated and focused on their task, but are really sneaking away from their duties and partaking of sustenance called Auntie Anne's Soft Pretzels. These are the worst.  Do not align yourselves with these suspicious individuals. With their M.O. (method of operation) clearly defined,  I'm going to now tell you what we call them.  They are known as.... (dun, dun, dun) Black Friday Shoppers. Pay attention to th...

I'm a virgin. Yes, you read that right. Despite having 3 children and being married for 18 years, I am a virgin. A BLACK FRIDAY virgin. But today, I give myself wholly and willingly to the shop-a-mania that is Black Friday. We're heading down to the good ole US of A to participate in the mad frenzy of consumerism and materialism. Woo Hoo...can't wait!!! Hope I don't get trampled on. Watch the news, if you see a chick in a bright orange jacket, running shoes with orange stripes and jeans on, plastered against the glass doors of a Wal Mart or JC Penney and being pushed from behind by 20 million other frenzied shoppers, that'd be ME.  Make sure you wave at your TV and say Hi.... it'll be our last exchange before I meet my demise.... By for now....see you on Monday where I'll be bruised, battered, bartered and broke! So fun!!!

Don't know if I'm blessed or cursed. I've been so busy lately that I can't even catch my own thoughts!  I've got about a million different lists going in my head and I just know I'm going to mix them up soon. It's gonna get ugly. My TO DO list and my Christmas list are going to get all jumbled together in my head and before you know it I'm going to be 'doing' Santa. Okay, that's a little gross but at least he's more my age.  Not like that little buff, amazingly hot little Jacob who caused me to salivate and drool during the New Moon movie more than a mouth full of Sour Skittles washed down with a handful of Icebreakers.  Oh man that boy is purty!! I'm not admitting to any sort of crush on Taylor Lautner/Jacob...I'm much too old to be doing that....but just because I'm old enough to be his mother doesn't mean that I can't appreciate his efforts to buff himself up better than Mr. Clean.  Yowza!  How does a 17 y...

Goodnight my dear friend...may you rest in peace. May you know how much you were loved. May you bless others in heaven as you have those of us on earth who had the privilege of knowing you. May we one day reunite in joyous celebration. I know one day I'll see you again. And you'll be smiling.. That gorgeous, loving, beautiful smile... And it'll make me smile. I love you Mia.  Godspeed my friend...Godspeed.

This morning I did a 2.5km swim--that's about 1.5 miles. It felt great! I finally got to try this out!  It's a waterproof mp3 player and the reason why it looks so strange is that you don't put it into your ears to hear it, you actually set it on your goggles and then position the speakers against your cheekbones.  You hear the music through bone conduction.  It's really quite amazing! So today I had a rockin' swim session.  I loved having music to listen to rather than my labored breathing.  Normally I do about 2000m when I go for a swim but because a song came on that I really liked (I Gotta Feeling by Black Eyed Peas) as I was finishing up, I decided to do another lap or two until the song ended.  Well, once I did another 100m I decided that I may as well do another 400m and call it 500 which would make it 2500m in total.  I know, it's a strange reasoning process, but it's all MINE! Anyway, the swim was great because of the music but not b...

My boyfriend's back again.  He's been gone for such a long time...almost a year.  He doesn't come to visit very often, mostly in the fall and early winter, and when he comes he doesn't stay long. Maybe a night or two. He's kind of a blow in, blow right back out, kind of guy. He's so strong!  He can move almost anything. He's been known to fall trees, lift the roofs of houses and even destroy buildings.  A couple of years ago he went on a rampage and destroyed over 2000 trees at one of our most beautiful and largest parks.  We're teaching him to harness his power.... He always lets me know he's around by whistling at me. Mostly he whistles at night.  Sometimes he whistles steadily and other times he just lets me know he's there by offering me a little quick toot or two. He rocks my rafters, if you know what I mean.... My Hub knows that my boyfriend's here but there's nothing Hub can do about it.  In fact, Hub lays in be...

Statements Made in Court These really happened... Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year. Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten? Q: How old is your son, the one living with you. A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years. Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan. Q: And where was the location of the accident? A: Approximately milepost 499. Q: And where is milepost 499? A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500. Q: Sir, what is your IQ? A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think. Q: Did you blow your horn or anything? A: After the accident? Q: Befo...