Um, like hello?

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Got the snow boots.

Got the red mittens.

Got the ergonomic snow shovel.

Got the winter jackets and ski boots.

Got the freezing cold weather.

Got the morning frost that lasts until past noon.

Got the weather forecast for the purported 'worst' winter on record.

So....

Where's the darn SNOW?

C'mon Snow, if I'm going to have to wait much longer to see your beautiful white flakes that coat my world in magical wonder, I'm going to cry! Seriously I am as excited to see you as I was for Christmas morning to come!

What can I do to encourage you? I've been doing the 'snow' dance and I've been singing 'Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow' in my best Michael Buble style, and, yes, I'm ashamed to admit it, I've been running around nekked outside at the stroke of midnight for the last week and a half and still you are a 'no show, no snow.'

Can you please come tonight? I'm getting kind of tired of the neighbors calling the cops.

Those hand cuffs really chafe...

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