The Crazee Chick's View of Life

If someone says, "I'm going to be honest with you," right before they say something, do you think it means that the rest of the time they are lying to you? Hmmm....

According to Wikipedia, these are the three funniest jokes ever... Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?" Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely...

Howdy all, I totally ripped this off of someone's blog/website/can't really remember where I read it,  but I absolutely loved it and wanted to share. Enjoy! Happy Tuesday. Five Lessons About How To Treat People -- Author Unknown 1. First Important Lesson - "Know The Cleaning Lady" During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?" Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade. "Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your ...

I love my girls. I really do. They're great kids--uber responsible, rule following, sweet, loving, caring....and extreme laundry makers! They've been away at dance camp this week and I can't believe the massive reduction in the amount of washing and folding that I've had to do. Boys are much easier. A t-shirt, a pair of shorts, socks and a fresh pair of gaunch and they're good to go for the day. There are no changes, no updates, no add-ons to their wardrobe. What they start out with they end with. Girls are another matter. They like to layer--bra, tank top/cami, t-shirt, shrug/hoodie, jeans or else tights and a skirt. And that's just for school. After school they change into dance clothes--shorts, tank top, light weight hoodie---and then when they come home they don't change back into their school clothes (heaven's no!) they're either into a new pair of sweats or else they slip into their 4 piece jammies! My kids don't recycle the...

It's July 22 and I am sitting at home in a hoodie, long pants and socks. I am also wrapped up in a fleece blanket. Oh, and did I mention that I just switched the furnace from A/C to HEAT?! What the heck? Where did our summer go? Actually, more realistically is not where it went because that would imply that we had a semblance of summer when in actuality we have not, so I think it would be more accurate to ask, "Summer, when are you coming?" C'mon, Summer, we only have 6 weeks until the kids go back to school and all our plans of hiking various parks, climbing the Grouse Grind and the Chief, and spending a lazy summer day at Whytecliffs park are going to be shot! I'll say this in my nastiest, exorcist-like, growly voice while I stamp my feet, " I want some summer NOW!!" *POUTS and spins head around* I said...NOW!!! In case you need a reminder, this is what you look like, Summer...  Not this: Get your act together, Summer, or else yo...

I'm a huge Sophie Kinsella fan. She's one of the few authors who can actually make me laugh out loud. Even snort. It's not that she's just funny but I think it's that she's my kind of funny . You know when you have those goofy, or embarrassing thoughts, or those ones where you think that there's no way anyone with a rational mind would think this way? Or you wonder how in the world you can justify that crazy hair-brained idea? Do you have those ones? Please tell me you do. Well, what's nice about Kinsella is that SHE HAS THEM TOO! It's like she's crawled up inside my brain and has dissected each synapse (all two of them) and recorded them for future writing material. Her characters get embarrassed daily, they do things that they KNOW are stupid yet are compelled to do them anyway, they spend too much money, they love too hard, and they want to please everyone. That's me. In a nutshell. There. Done. Now you know me. I am Rebecca B...

I'm such a sucker. Recently as I was wondering through the booths at a home show, this elderly Asian man beckoned to me to come hither.  Despite his rotting teeth, hunchback, and his Yoda-like appearance I  found myself drawn into his curious booth set up with reflexology and accupressure charts as well as bottles of little yellow seeds and a fancy schmancy camera (such a dichotomy). He said for 20 bucks he could cure my pain: I thought for 20 bucks I could buy him a toothbrush, a haircut, and arrange for a chiropractic adjustment... As I tried to shake him off and move on over to the pretty knives that cut fruit into amazing shapes, he blocked my path and told me that he would treat me now and I could pay later, and when he learned of my partial deafness he literally rubbed his long and bony fingers together in a move reminiscent of Austin Powers and begged me for the opportunity to restore my hearing. Good grief, what was I to do? I sat down in the chair... ... ...

This song by Chicago kept going through my mind yesterday as we walked along the seawall in Stanley Park Only yesterday was a Sunday. And it wasn't the fourth of July. But there was a man playing a guitar. And people were laughing and singing because it was Vancouver's 125th birthday! The park was PACKED and people were biking, roller blading, walking and sitting on the grass taking in the free concert by the Vancouver Symphony Orchestra. There was even hoola hooping--felt like we were at Woodstock--free love, free movement, free music. Yeah, I had to hold back from busting out the tamborine and chanting some love chant.  Instead I busted out the camera... The weather was fantastic. Beautiful sun warmed us as we sat on our pic-a-nic blanket and ate our artery clogging KFC (it's okay though because we had a salad to combat the unhealthiness of the fried chicken. Macaroni salad is healthy, right?) After a couple of hours of wandering around...and seeing two...

Since I registered for it, I guess I can safely say that I'm going to do a triathlon! It's a mini/sprint triathlon--750m swim, 20 km bike and a 5 km run--so it's quite a bit shorter than an Olympic triathlon but it's a start. It will be only my second triathlon in my life, and my first in over 20 years!  (Ugh, am I really old enough to be saying that I did something 'over 20 years' ago?)  I still feel 18 years old, but one look at my wrinkly face and my exercise/diet resistant mommy tummy snaps me back into reality. Sigh. At the end of May a friend and I decided to do a triathlon and we thought maybe we'd do the one in June which gave us only 4 weeks to get ready, so I started training hard. Hard for me, that is. You full blown triathletes/marathon runners/ Ironman participants would fall down laughing at my training sessions as they'd be jut a warm up for you, but I am darn proud of them! In just 5 weeks I'm up to 8.2 km run; 1700 m swim...

She's home! But only for a day and then she's off again... She's just returned from an amazing, spiritual, uplifting week at EFY (Especially For Youth). Although she's not sharing the things that touched her heart during this week (I think she wants to keep them distinctly 'hers' for a little while longer) she's done nothing but rave about the experience and I can tell that waiting another year to go again is going to seem like an eternity to her. On Monday she's off again...to Girls' Camp. I hope the weather will be great for her as the last couple of camps she's gone to the weather has been horribly wet and cold. After Girls' Camp she's back for a couple of days and then she and Kiki are off to dance camp! And then...that's it! No more going away unless it's as a family. I miss these kids too much when they're gone! Also, Mo is my cook so we eat really crappy meals when she's away...

Zee and I had the most amazing morning yesterday. As the sun cracked the sky and shone it's beautiful light through my bedroom window, the sweetest little boy in the world awakened me with a tender kiss on my cheek (as he does almost every morning) and then crawled into bed for a snuggle. After a few minutes of cuddling, his morning breath began to choke me so I lovingly pushed him over to the other side of our king sized bed, and of course, I reached for my ipad (the equivalent of a morning coffee or cigarette for me) and got my fix of the news, the happenings on Facebook, and got caught up on a couple of emails. And...as I do about once a week...I visited the iTunes APP store. Usually a bad move. (Money, Money, Money....) But not this particular morning. On this morning I found a Sing Along App for LDS Primary Songs. There was a 'lite' version so I thought, "what have I got to lose?", and so downloaded it. I beckoned my stinky son to come hither and sh...

Zee wanted to try his hand at crabbing so we bought him a little net, got a license and some chicken and headed off to the sea side to go catch us some dinner. Here's Zee ready to make the virgin throw.  My boys... And there it goes!  The first throw!  And after a few minutes--success!  Our first catch of the day: a red rock crab! Sorry, you're too tiny--back into the drink you go. Male bonding... Our little piece of heaven--sunshine, food, family ,an activity...and lawn chairs! Love this little boy!! Three red rock crab in a bucket. (Hey, that could be a song!) Three red rock in a pot.  (Hey, second verse!) Three red rock crab in hot water.  (The song's refrain!) You should have heard the sympathy coming from all of us as Hubby tossed the little crabs into the pot. We felt so bad! This was the first time that my kids had tasted crab and: Mo didn't really care for the first bite but the taste grew on her and ...