Grrr....
I'm Grumpy today!
Not Sneezy (although with all the cottonwood fluff in the air I'm surprised I'm not), not Dopey (that was a couple of months ago during my Gravol buzz in the hospital), not Sleepy, nor am I Apathetic (is that a dwarf?)
Nope, today I am GRUMPY!
Wanna know why?
'Cause I spent my whole day with my butt in the air and it's made not one iota of difference! Hmm....yes, I can see what you're thinking here and you're way off base. Allow me to explain. I spent the whole day picking stuff up of the floor (thus the butt in the air. Get it now? Pervert.) and my house still looks like a disaster!
My kids, especially Kiki, have a horrible habit of just picking stuff up and moving it to another location or just dropping it on the floor when they have no more desire to touch it. When they pick stuff up and move it, wouldn't it be nice if they could ensure that the 'thing' finds it's way into the place it calls HOME?
I'll be so glad to no longer be a slave to the 'Clutter Master' so I'm trying my best to get rid of excess 'stuff.' That's pretty hard when you've got toys with a million pieces like Magnetix, K'nex, and Perler Beads. Who invented these toys and where do they live so that I can dump this stuff off at their house? And, while I'm in the question mode, why did I ever buy these things? I must have had a tidy house at the time; clutter free and presumably, empty, because I managed to find a reason to purchase them and seriously I would not be stretching it to say that there are over 11,000 pieces combined. Yeah, really...I know because I pick them up on a daily basis and I've counted!
So, a word to those of you who have babies/toddlers and will be moving into the 'bigger kid' toys shortly. Avoid them! Do not buy anything for your kids. Sit them down in front of a blank wall (preferably white) and tell them to use their imagination...not their hands, mind you....just their brains! Don't buy them any paint and paintbrushes (we must have 30!), no pencil crayons, no craft books (those are the worst because then they actually want to DO the stuff in the book! Isn't it enough just to look at the pretty pictures and know that it's possible to make things like that?). Don't let them have building tools that foster their dexterity or expand their craniums like K'nex or Lego. That is just asking for a permanent 'butt in the air' position! And....don't even get me started on books! We must have 20 million! We can't read all these books if we lived 3 lifetimes!!
Repeat after me: No TOYS with multiple pieces and NO craft materials. Repeat this mantra daily and you too could avoid the Derriere pose. If you fail to heed this advice consider your decision an informed one.
Don't say I didn't tell you and be sure to call me so I can say, "I told you so!" I've always wanted to do that and I never get a chance because I'm usually wrong about everything.
Like this whole advice about avoiding stimulating material for your children: I'm probably wrong about that too. Some scientist, somewhere, with too much time on his hands, and one who had a mother who encouraged 'exploration', will fashion some kind of experiment that shows how kids need to touch, feel and manipulate things because it makes them smarter.
Oh, someone already has? Really?!
Oh fine, go play with your kids, go pick up a million pieces of LEGO, those kids are just going to thank you for playing with them and love you even more! Is that what you want? LOVE? Do you really want your kids to go around telling their friends that they have the BEST MOM IN THE WORLD?!!!
Isn't a clean house and a clutter free kitchen,bathroom, bedroom, family room...more important?
I mean really! Priorities people!!
Later...
Me
(PS: The above blog, although intended to entertain, is completely tongue in cheek. The author accepts no responsibility for dumb children should you chose to follow her advice. I'm not a doctor, I just write like one. Hee...hee)
(PPS: I really do like books...I love that we have 20 million and I wish I had three lifetimes to read them!)
Not Sneezy (although with all the cottonwood fluff in the air I'm surprised I'm not), not Dopey (that was a couple of months ago during my Gravol buzz in the hospital), not Sleepy, nor am I Apathetic (is that a dwarf?)
Nope, today I am GRUMPY!
Wanna know why?
'Cause I spent my whole day with my butt in the air and it's made not one iota of difference! Hmm....yes, I can see what you're thinking here and you're way off base. Allow me to explain. I spent the whole day picking stuff up of the floor (thus the butt in the air. Get it now? Pervert.) and my house still looks like a disaster!
My kids, especially Kiki, have a horrible habit of just picking stuff up and moving it to another location or just dropping it on the floor when they have no more desire to touch it. When they pick stuff up and move it, wouldn't it be nice if they could ensure that the 'thing' finds it's way into the place it calls HOME?
I'll be so glad to no longer be a slave to the 'Clutter Master' so I'm trying my best to get rid of excess 'stuff.' That's pretty hard when you've got toys with a million pieces like Magnetix, K'nex, and Perler Beads. Who invented these toys and where do they live so that I can dump this stuff off at their house? And, while I'm in the question mode, why did I ever buy these things? I must have had a tidy house at the time; clutter free and presumably, empty, because I managed to find a reason to purchase them and seriously I would not be stretching it to say that there are over 11,000 pieces combined. Yeah, really...I know because I pick them up on a daily basis and I've counted!
So, a word to those of you who have babies/toddlers and will be moving into the 'bigger kid' toys shortly. Avoid them! Do not buy anything for your kids. Sit them down in front of a blank wall (preferably white) and tell them to use their imagination...not their hands, mind you....just their brains! Don't buy them any paint and paintbrushes (we must have 30!), no pencil crayons, no craft books (those are the worst because then they actually want to DO the stuff in the book! Isn't it enough just to look at the pretty pictures and know that it's possible to make things like that?). Don't let them have building tools that foster their dexterity or expand their craniums like K'nex or Lego. That is just asking for a permanent 'butt in the air' position! And....don't even get me started on books! We must have 20 million! We can't read all these books if we lived 3 lifetimes!!
Repeat after me: No TOYS with multiple pieces and NO craft materials. Repeat this mantra daily and you too could avoid the Derriere pose. If you fail to heed this advice consider your decision an informed one.
Don't say I didn't tell you and be sure to call me so I can say, "I told you so!" I've always wanted to do that and I never get a chance because I'm usually wrong about everything.
Like this whole advice about avoiding stimulating material for your children: I'm probably wrong about that too. Some scientist, somewhere, with too much time on his hands, and one who had a mother who encouraged 'exploration', will fashion some kind of experiment that shows how kids need to touch, feel and manipulate things because it makes them smarter.
Oh, someone already has? Really?!
Oh fine, go play with your kids, go pick up a million pieces of LEGO, those kids are just going to thank you for playing with them and love you even more! Is that what you want? LOVE? Do you really want your kids to go around telling their friends that they have the BEST MOM IN THE WORLD?!!!
Isn't a clean house and a clutter free kitchen,bathroom, bedroom, family room...more important?
I mean really! Priorities people!!
Later...
Me
(PS: The above blog, although intended to entertain, is completely tongue in cheek. The author accepts no responsibility for dumb children should you chose to follow her advice. I'm not a doctor, I just write like one. Hee...hee)
(PPS: I really do like books...I love that we have 20 million and I wish I had three lifetimes to read them!)
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