Be Sage...
The other day a text I posted to Mo was meant to read, "Be safe", but a slight typo turned it into...
"Be sage."
Sage is defined as having or exhibiting wisdom and calm judgment, while safe is defined as being free from risk.
This typo really gave me pause as I considered the depth of the meaning-- in order to be free from risk, we need to exercise calm judgement and use wisdom--so in order to be safe, we need to be sage, or smart.
And then it occurred to me that we are always telling our kids to be safe but are we teaching them how to be wise? Are we providing them with the right tools they need to practise safety and sage-dom? What are those tools?
I don't have the answers but here are a couple of things that I think are important to teach our kids:
1. Stranger danger/street smarts--when the kids were little and playing in the park they always knew to draw an imaginary safety circle around themselves (spanning out about 20 feet) and if someone they didn't know came into that circle then they were to move a distance away and establish a new safety circle. If that same person broached that circle for a second time then they were to run to me and tell me. We learned this technique from a video and music CD called 'The Safe Side.'
2. Courtesy--it's important to look at someone when they are speaking to you and to return an answer when you have been asked a question. This is a dying virtue, in my humble opinion.
3. Be respectful of your body--we are loaned this body for a time, for the purpose of gaining experience, and one day it will wear out and become fairly useless to you. You can either prolong that inevitable day by eating healthy, exercising, avoiding harmful substances (admittedly this is not always the case however), or you can accelerate the process by having a poor diet, abusing alcohol and drugs, taking unnecessary chances, etc. Also, being respectful of your body means dressing modestly, presenting yourself in a manner that communicates your values, and avoiding intimate situations prior to marriage. Yeah, I know, I'm being preachy here...
4. Believe in a higher power. For our family, that higher power is God, but for others it may be the Universe, Buddha, or something else. The point is that you need someone bigger than yourself to believe in. Someone to turn to in prayer or meditation for reassurance, for guidance, and for direction. Having this communication increases our ability to 'be sage.'
5. Trust your parents. Even though we're old and seemingly uncool, we have been where you are now. We've lost friends, been shunned, been misunderstood, lost in love, were lucky in love, felt confused and frustrated, felt scared and uncertain, and had dreams about our future, and fears for the world (wars, earthquakes etc). Talk to us about these concerns...trust that we want to help you. We may not always have the answer you were hoping for but we love you and our goal is to help you succeed in your life and reach your goals and dreams.
6. Remember your family is forever. Be smart when dealing with your family. Hug them, tell them you love them...and don't push your siblings into the path of an oncoming car when you're out walking no matter how much they embarrass you in front of that cute new guy/girl from school. Your family will be yours forever...learn to live with them.
7. Be honest. Telling lies sucks. It's hard to remember what lies you've told. It gets jumbled and you get into deeper caca in the end then you would have at the beginning if you'd just told the truth.
8. Expect the unexpected. Think ahead. Be an optimistic pessimist. Always have enough gas in your gas tank (I'm NOT a good role model for this particular 'sage' advice).
9. Get enough life experience and education so that when you meet that special someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with that you have some talents, experiences and brains to bring to the relationship. Lust only lasts for so long and then you've got to have more than perky boobs and a nice butt.
10. You can tell your parents anything. No matter how big the mistake, no matter how wrong, tell your parents! We can't promise that we're not going to get angry, but our sage-dom will ultimately prevail and we will calm down, find a way to help you and we will continue to love you. A parent's love is forever by the way.
So, as you're out there being SAFE, please remember to also be SAGE.
"Be sage."
Sage is defined as having or exhibiting wisdom and calm judgment, while safe is defined as being free from risk.
This typo really gave me pause as I considered the depth of the meaning-- in order to be free from risk, we need to exercise calm judgement and use wisdom--so in order to be safe, we need to be sage, or smart.
And then it occurred to me that we are always telling our kids to be safe but are we teaching them how to be wise? Are we providing them with the right tools they need to practise safety and sage-dom? What are those tools?
I don't have the answers but here are a couple of things that I think are important to teach our kids:
1. Stranger danger/street smarts--when the kids were little and playing in the park they always knew to draw an imaginary safety circle around themselves (spanning out about 20 feet) and if someone they didn't know came into that circle then they were to move a distance away and establish a new safety circle. If that same person broached that circle for a second time then they were to run to me and tell me. We learned this technique from a video and music CD called 'The Safe Side.'
2. Courtesy--it's important to look at someone when they are speaking to you and to return an answer when you have been asked a question. This is a dying virtue, in my humble opinion.
3. Be respectful of your body--we are loaned this body for a time, for the purpose of gaining experience, and one day it will wear out and become fairly useless to you. You can either prolong that inevitable day by eating healthy, exercising, avoiding harmful substances (admittedly this is not always the case however), or you can accelerate the process by having a poor diet, abusing alcohol and drugs, taking unnecessary chances, etc. Also, being respectful of your body means dressing modestly, presenting yourself in a manner that communicates your values, and avoiding intimate situations prior to marriage. Yeah, I know, I'm being preachy here...
4. Believe in a higher power. For our family, that higher power is God, but for others it may be the Universe, Buddha, or something else. The point is that you need someone bigger than yourself to believe in. Someone to turn to in prayer or meditation for reassurance, for guidance, and for direction. Having this communication increases our ability to 'be sage.'
5. Trust your parents. Even though we're old and seemingly uncool, we have been where you are now. We've lost friends, been shunned, been misunderstood, lost in love, were lucky in love, felt confused and frustrated, felt scared and uncertain, and had dreams about our future, and fears for the world (wars, earthquakes etc). Talk to us about these concerns...trust that we want to help you. We may not always have the answer you were hoping for but we love you and our goal is to help you succeed in your life and reach your goals and dreams.
6. Remember your family is forever. Be smart when dealing with your family. Hug them, tell them you love them...and don't push your siblings into the path of an oncoming car when you're out walking no matter how much they embarrass you in front of that cute new guy/girl from school. Your family will be yours forever...learn to live with them.
7. Be honest. Telling lies sucks. It's hard to remember what lies you've told. It gets jumbled and you get into deeper caca in the end then you would have at the beginning if you'd just told the truth.
8. Expect the unexpected. Think ahead. Be an optimistic pessimist. Always have enough gas in your gas tank (I'm NOT a good role model for this particular 'sage' advice).
9. Get enough life experience and education so that when you meet that special someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with that you have some talents, experiences and brains to bring to the relationship. Lust only lasts for so long and then you've got to have more than perky boobs and a nice butt.
10. You can tell your parents anything. No matter how big the mistake, no matter how wrong, tell your parents! We can't promise that we're not going to get angry, but our sage-dom will ultimately prevail and we will calm down, find a way to help you and we will continue to love you. A parent's love is forever by the way.
So, as you're out there being SAFE, please remember to also be SAGE.
Comments