Re-examining ...
I guess there comes a point in your life where you have to let go of the frivolities, the obssessions and the time wasters and really concentrate on what is important in your life.
Tonight as I sat here blogging about my multitasking meltdown where I was doing four things at once but only did three of them right (which resulted in me backing into the garage door as it was closing), my daughter approached me for a heart to heart. Amidst her tears she told me that she wanted time to be able to talk more with me. Even though I knew what she was saying was true, my defense mechanisms went into overdrive and I began to justify the time I spend on the computer and on facebook as equivalencies to her 'playdates'. 'This is how I relax. This is where I find my escape. This is my enjoyment,' I told her.
And then my defenses dropped, my mind began to work again and I realized the futility of my justifications.
What is important? Is it snooping on other people's Facebook walls? Is it looking at pictures of people I don't even know? Is it reading that someone got 30% on how well they know their best friend/sister/brother? Is it really worth jeopardizing my time with my kids? Is it worth not listening to them because I'm busy reading about someone else's life, whilst mine and theirs is passing by?
Despite the benefits of Facebook (like finding university friends 20 years later who enrich my life, seeing pictures of my great niece and nephews, looking at some of the fabulous photography of my niece and my friend, receiving support when I am down), I've come to realize that I have an addiction to this medium that is unhealthy. I've come to see the bigger picture and I realize that if I don't make some changes now that I may live to regret the damage that I am putting upon my family.
So, as of tomorrow, I am deleting my FB account. To those of you who have taken the time to find your way to my blog, I thank you and hope that we can keep in touch via blogging, comments and email. I will miss my daily 'touches' with you but I have to be able to give more time to my kids...after all, I brought them into this world so it's my duty to make sure that I can give them every single bit of me that they need. I am going to miss you though....please know that.
Love to all,
Lisa
Tonight as I sat here blogging about my multitasking meltdown where I was doing four things at once but only did three of them right (which resulted in me backing into the garage door as it was closing), my daughter approached me for a heart to heart. Amidst her tears she told me that she wanted time to be able to talk more with me. Even though I knew what she was saying was true, my defense mechanisms went into overdrive and I began to justify the time I spend on the computer and on facebook as equivalencies to her 'playdates'. 'This is how I relax. This is where I find my escape. This is my enjoyment,' I told her.
And then my defenses dropped, my mind began to work again and I realized the futility of my justifications.
What is important? Is it snooping on other people's Facebook walls? Is it looking at pictures of people I don't even know? Is it reading that someone got 30% on how well they know their best friend/sister/brother? Is it really worth jeopardizing my time with my kids? Is it worth not listening to them because I'm busy reading about someone else's life, whilst mine and theirs is passing by?
Despite the benefits of Facebook (like finding university friends 20 years later who enrich my life, seeing pictures of my great niece and nephews, looking at some of the fabulous photography of my niece and my friend, receiving support when I am down), I've come to realize that I have an addiction to this medium that is unhealthy. I've come to see the bigger picture and I realize that if I don't make some changes now that I may live to regret the damage that I am putting upon my family.
So, as of tomorrow, I am deleting my FB account. To those of you who have taken the time to find your way to my blog, I thank you and hope that we can keep in touch via blogging, comments and email. I will miss my daily 'touches' with you but I have to be able to give more time to my kids...after all, I brought them into this world so it's my duty to make sure that I can give them every single bit of me that they need. I am going to miss you though....please know that.
Love to all,
Lisa
Comments
Blogging is quite a different experience and writing the blogs does take some time too...
Just my thoughts.
C
Ok so I understand now your concern about spending more time with your kids. And I hear you loud and clear as I find myself doing the same thing. I think you are right about priority in life. Time for everything and everyone. But let me just say one thing. My dad always told me......eveything in life is GOOD....but only with moderation. Sometimes when we are drastic, it doesnt help the situation, and maybe sometimes it does. But I think what you need to do here, is perhaps give yourself some time to reflect on your decision. You have to listen to that inner voice. Ponder the thought for a bit, analyze, and really listen to yourself to be able to make a decison that is common sense for everyone. Perhaps, you maynot want to open it for awhile. Or perhaps you will know what you want to do with Facebook, and still give that quality time to your family as you always do, but also dont leave yourself to last either you are first and above all to beable to give to others. Now the garage door. Those are distractions in life when you have too much on your plate. It happens, but its not the end of the world, even though at the time it seems to be. Its only material, and ya it can get fixed. And if it doesnt its a reminder. I did the same thing, but my excuse was that I was 6 months pregnant with my third, and very forgetful and way too much happening. I wanted to replace that door right away because it looked terrible from the inside, but it didnt get fixed and then one day, a couple of years down the road, doing maintenance repairs, I was able to get it sort of fixed. Its not perfect, but it doesnt look back, and its a reminder for me everytime I see it. Facebook for me has really only one priority, and that is to be able to connect and share with so many that by being in Mexico I would have not been allowed to. And for that I am grateful. So dont be hard on yourself. You are a wonderful, mother, wife, daughter, friend. Now just be wonderful YOU.
Isabel