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Members of Earth. Be informed. The Loot is out there. And it's called...Black Friday. Yes, people of Earth, there are human droids who are driven by a desire so insatiable that they will shun sleep (31 hours awake!!), they will carry multiple shopping bags causing 'shopping hand' syndrome, and have been sighted laying across shopping carts in a piteous attempt to prevent crashing headlong to the floor. Oh, people of Earth, be warned that these droids are sneaky too. Beware of the ones who feign innocence; the ones who appear as if they are dedicated and focused on their task, but are really sneaking away from their duties and partaking of sustenance called Auntie Anne's Soft Pretzels. These are the worst. Do not align yourselves with these suspicious individuals. With their M.O. (method of operation) clearly defined, I'm going to now tell you what we call them. They are known as.... (dun, dun, dun) Black Friday Shoppers. Pay attention to th...